Archive for 'Eugene'

favorite short quotes

May 2, 2005
I’m feeling too lazy to write a post. I’ll just cut and paste my growing list of quotes.



"May I ring true, as I tremble."

- Unknown



"I am a coward inspired by words out of context, only to fear the context that borne the words."

- Unknown



"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is sure."

- Mark Twain



"Happiness? That’s nothing more than health and a poor memory."

- Albert Schweitzer



"The only way to avoid being miserable is not to have enough leisure to wonder whether you are happy or not."

- George Bernard Shaw



"To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness."

- Bertrand Russell



"Well," said Pooh, "what I like best," and then he had to stop and think. Because although Eating Honey was a very good thing to do, there was a moment just before you began to eat it which was better than when you were, but he didn’t know what it was called.

- A.A. Milne



"It is not true that suffering ennobles the character; happiness does that sometimes, but suffering, for the most part, makes men petty and vindictive."

- William Somerset Maugham



"Unconciously, perhaps, we treasure the power we have over people by their regard for our opinion of them, and we hate those upon whom we have no such influence. I suppose it is the bitterest wound to human pride."

- William Somerset Maugham



"He is no fool who gives up what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose."

- Jim Elliot



"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."

- Albert Einstein



"True courage lies in the lack of fear of being labeled a coward."

- Some Japanese Dude



"Example is not the main thing in influencing others. It’s the only thing."

- Albert Schweitzer



"My life is my argument."

- Albert Schweitzer





Sunday: 14 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 5:28 pm in General

Butterflies and Rocks

April 29, 2005
We have all seen butterflies dancing in the air.

They bounce from flower to flower in gardens and meadows.

And we have all noticed what happens when a person walks up to a butterfly. The butterfly flies away. It flees.

Why?

It does that because it’s afraid. It’s afraid of getting hurt.

But rocks are different.

When you approach a rock, what happens? What does it do?

It just sits there.

Yes, you’ve probably noticed that the vast majority of rocks refuse to flee when you walk up to them.

With these things in mind, you might someday want to spend a few hours watching rocks and butterflies. Almost certainly you’ll see the vast differences between them. For instance, butterflies seem to spend most of their time trying to escape from things. They fear people, birds, lizards, spiders, dogs, cats, frogs, and snakes.

(And some people, you may have noticed, are afraid of these same things.)

(And, oddly, these same things are often afraid of people.)

(But hardly anything is afraid of a butterfly.)

As for rocks, on the other hand: birds, lizards, spiders, dogs, cats, frogs, people and snakes all fail to cause fear in their stoney hearts. Rocks are brave.

Why is that so?

Where do rocks get their courage?

It comes from their humility.

Yes. Rocks as a group have shed themselves of all their pride. You can search high and low, and here and there, but you’ll have difficulty finding a proud rock. They refuse to view themselves as important things. It matters very little to them whether people throw them, or whether crawling things crawl on them. Whatever happens, they just continue to do their best to cope.

Try this experiment sometime: go out in the garden, find a rock and pee on it.

Does it care?

Of course it cares, but very little. Getting pee-ed on is just one more thing a rock has to deal with. A rock takes life as it comes.

Now think of butterflies. Butterflies actually believe they’re important. That’s why they’re always fearful, always feeling that it would be a great tragedy if something "bad" was to happen to them.

Try to pee on a butterfly.

See what happens?

You have to chase it all around the garden trying to get it wet.

That’s a difficult task for a man or woman. Particularly a woman.

Why does a butterfly make life so difficult?

Why does it flee?

Because it refuses to accept your insulting actions, that’s why.

It’s full of pride.



Try another experiment: sit on a rock.

What happens?

Very little.

But then...sit on a butterfly.

What happens?

The butterfly feels crushed. It’s so humiliated it refuses to move. It just lies there refusing to even look like a healthy butterfly anymore.

Of course, some people will say that this is a stupid experiment. Most people believe butterflies are delicate, easily wounded things, while rocks are hard and tough to break. These people, of course, expect that if you sit on a butterfly it will die, and expect that sitting on a rock will change it very little.

But let me ask you this, if that’s what you believe: what happens when a butterfly stays still and lets you sit on it?

It becomes a rock, that’s what.

How can that be?

I wish I could tell you.

That’s just the way it happens.

It’s a miracle.

Butterflies flee: that’s their nature, the way they are. Rocks stay still: that’s the way they are. So if the butterfly stays still while some big ass is coming down on it, then the butterfly changes into a rock.

And it rarely happens.

Most butterflies fail.

They are full of fear.

Pride, remember, is just another form of fear.

A great deal of energy is wasted being fearful, wasted by refusing to take life as it comes. But the truth is: we creatures of the earth have only a limited amount of energy, so we pay dearly if we waste it. The butterfly darts here and there, always suspicious, always watching out for danger. By doing this it wastes vital energy. On the other hand, rocks just sit there saving their energy. That is why rocks live forever, and butterflies die so young.



From the book:

"fuck, YES!"

by Reverend Wing F. Fing M.D., Ph.D., D.D.S., L.L.D., D.V.D., and much, much more!
Posted by Eugene @ 6:27 pm in General

jeah~

April 23, 2005
Never thought I’d be so happy to get a 70%!!



EE40 Midterm 2 Results:

Average: 57/100

80-100 - 15

70-79.9 - 25

60-69.9 - 17

50-59.9 - 27

less than 50 - 42

I remember walking away from this 16 page exam thinking that I’d get a 50% if I was lucky.





CS61A Midterm 3 Results:

Average: 28.02/40

Me: 36



4 points were deducted from my score because I misread a question. You know, it’s a lot less frustrating to lose points because you misinterpreted a question, as opposed to having absolutely no idea of how to go about solving it. For instance, I had a quiz for EE20N last Wednesday, and I handed it in COMPLETELY blank. Actually, I didn’t even hand it in, I just stuffed it into my bookbag, threw my head down in shame, and ran outta there with tears streaming down my face. *sniff*



My predictions:

CS61A ~Structure and Interpretation of Computer Programs: A

EE40 ~Introduction to Micorelectronic Circuits: B

EE20N ~Structure and Interpretation of Signals and Systems: C



And off to the coffee shop I go!
Posted by Eugene @ 3:03 pm in School

wheat thins taste good

April 23, 2005
My lungs feel sore this morning. I know why this is. It’s because I smoked right before I went to sleep. If I don’t give myself an hour of smoke-free consciousness before I knock out, I wake up with a dull pain in my chest. It’s kind of like how your lungs feel after a strenuous run in the cold morning air, except as you probably already know, it’s nowhere near as healthy. I know it’s unhealthy. It also makes you stink.



Sigh.



If only you knew how good cigarettes are after you’ve managed to acquire the taste (read: become a nicotine addict) and finished eating a good meal. Isn’t it true that some of the best things in life are acquired tastes? Coffee, alcohol, grapefruit juice, tomato juice, sarcasm, cigarettes, sandwiches at the beach... The list differs for each person, but you get the point.



Yesterday at the coffee shop, this old guy started asking me questions about what kind of laptop I would recommend for him. Upon hearing that I was a Computer Science major, he asked me how much I would charge for giving computer lessons. It humors me to think that he probably didn’t know exactly what computer science was (I don’t think anybody does until they’ve taken a programming class), but assumed that my major qualified me to give him lessons. It’s funny because in this day and age, the average computer-literate kid would probably know enough to teach him what he needs to know. Anyway, after chatting a bit, I suggested that we could set up an exchange of services since he claimed to be a writer and a lover of the arts. What I would give to become a good writer...



We exchanged contact information, and he wrote a quote on the slip of paper he gave me:

"The greatest Love (perhaps) one can experience is one that is undeclared."

- Y.M.

After some thinking, I’ve come to the conclusion that this quote is referring to Unconditional Love. Right? To declare your love for someone can, in a sense, be thought of as a desire or an expectation of getting something in return. When your love is undeclared, you basically forfeit any prospect of having that love returned to you; therefore, your love is unconditional.



Unsurprisingly, this was written by a Japanese poet. A new topic just popped up in my head, but I’ll save that for a later post.



Friday: ~4 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 2:52 pm in Quotes, Health/Well Being

dude, where’s my car?

April 23, 2005
I mean, my EE40 lab partner? He should have been here 20 minutes ago. We’re working on this light detector thing that flashes a green LED in the dark, and flashes a red LED when it detects light. Circuit analysis sucks, but I guess circuit design licks less balls. I stepped on some poor dude’s phototransistor and I think I crushed it. I better hightail outta here before he finds out.



I hate the semester system! Somewhere deep inside my soul, school is officially over. My mind is already on vacation - ever since it burned to a crisp sometime during the 12th week. That’s how long a quarter is, right? The quarter system sounds sweeeet.



I’ve spent the last few days cyber-stalking people on xanga. Something similar to what I used to do on friendster, but xanga is much more interesting because you get to peer into their minds. Ok, that doesn’t sound as interesting as it does creepy. I basically compiled a list of links to the blogs of people whose lives I deem are worth reading about. Though most of the blogs made the list because I liked the style of writing, I’ve come to realize how boring my life is. I need to travel or something. Or something.



Hmm. Is it just me, or is traveling only fun when you talk about it afterwards over a cup of tea? I’ve had my fair share of traveling, and half the time I am usually a little bored. I’ll put more thought into that later, I think I’m going to head home. It’s 10:45a now, I don’t think he’s coming. Damn, I came all the way to Cory Hall for NOTHING. This is the second time this week - on Tuesday I came here for my EE20N lab, and nobody showed up because it had been canceled that week. This was at 8am. To put things into perspective so I don’t sound so damn whiny, it’s a 20 minute trek from my apartment to Cory......



ALL uphill....







I should quit being so whiny.



Wednesday: ~3 hours

Thurday: ~2 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 6:25 am in School, Travel

tirppy siht

April 22, 2005
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe
Posted by Eugene @ 4:39 am in News/Politics

tihs is trppiy siht

April 22, 2005
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe
Posted by Eugene @ 4:37 am in News/Politics

too relaxed

April 20, 2005
Man, I am waaay too relaxed right now. I didn’t really get any studying done today and I have lots of shit to do. Oh well, at least I’m enjoying it. For the first time since I started school, I’m coming to realize that there are many things more important than a grade. Before, when I would fuck around, my schoolwork would be continuously nagging me in the background, and I wouldn’t be able to enjoy anything. It really sucked.



Why the hell does everyone work so hard at the things they hate to do, anyway? Granted, we can’t have everything our way; doing things we despise (every so often) is probably good for you - but still... Why do we repeat the same tedious process over and over day after day? To put food on the table? To pay the rent? To put your kids through college?



Most of us have valid, admirable reasons to grit our teeth and do what must be done. For certain, not all of us are in this position. The rest of us are either in debt, or are trying our hardest to live an extravagant a lifestyle as financially possible. What are we trying to prove through these actions? And to whom? How much of what we deem necessary in our everyday lives are things that we are taught to want? Why is it so embarassing for some people to use coupons? How the fuck can some people drive around in an $80,000 Benz, and come home every night to a ghetto-ass apartment? Don’t even get me started on those designer furniture stores... *shudder*



I dunno. I know I’m materialistic just like everyone else. It’s just that when you think about it, it doesn’t make any sense. Recently I’ve been thinking that true freedom lies in a lack of materialistic want. And then something occurred to me. Maybe those crazy bums on Telegraph aren’t as crazy as we all think. Maybe the people who have achieved this great state of mind were labeled insane by society, and are trapped in the mental institutions as I blog at this very moment...



Whatever. I know I have a tendency to be overly judgemental, so I’m just going to stick with my masterplan and quit worrying about other people. I’m going to become as minimalistic as I can possibly become and not work so much. Hopefully by that time, I’ll find something or someone to devote my time and interest to. We only have one short life to live, and there’s no way in hell I’m going to spend it buying shit just so that other people can approve of me.



Saturday

Couple hours here and there

Total Hours Studying: ~4 hours





When people say that they do not care what others think of them, for the most part they deceive themselves. Generally they mean only that they will do as they choose, in the confidence that no one will know their vagaries; and at the utmost only that they are willing to act contrary to the opinion of the majority because they are supported by the approval of their neighbours. It is not difficult to be unconventional in the eyes of the world when your unconventionality is but the convention of your set. It affords you then an inordinate amount of self-esteem. You have the self-satisfaction of courage without the inconvenience of danger. But the desire for approbation is perhaps the most deeply seated instinct of civilized man. No one runs so hurriedly to the cover of respectability as the unconventional woman who has exposed herself to the slings and arrows of outraged propriety. I do not believe the people who tell me they do not care a row of pins for the opinion of their fellows. It is the bravado of ignorance. They mean only that they do not frear reproaches for peccadillos which they are convinced none will discover.



- William Somerset Maugham
Posted by Eugene @ 3:13 pm in School, Quotes

nothing much

April 20, 2005
Nothing much happened today. Not even a respectable study session. Meh.



Yesterday, I had quite the ironic experience. I basically missed all the lectures I had that day (I only had one at 9:00a) because my keys were missing in action. It was also street-sweeping day, the one day out of the entire month where if you didn’t move your car to make way for the street-sweepers (the existence of which I have yet to confirm), you get nailed with a $36 parking ticket by the jolly fat woman spilling out of a tiny golf cart. Luckily, I keep my car keys separate from my house keys, and so moving the car presented no problems. Unluckily, I failed to remember that fact as I proudly walked out of the front gate, noticing (not without an air of superiority I might add) the white slips of paper flapping on the windshields of cars owned by my "lesser" neighbors. The gate slammed shut behind me.



Two minutes later, I was sitting on the cold sidewalk curb, humming "If I Had a Hammer," picking at the skin on my toes with my face tucked in between my knees. I must’ve been locked out for a good half hour before someone finally came outside.





Quote of the Day:

I am a coward inspired by words out of context, later to fear the context that borne the words.





Time Studied

Monday: 0 hours

Tuesday: 4 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 4:22 am in Quotes, School, Health/Well Being

one more post before i actually get some work done

April 20, 2005
It’s that time of year. Saturday was Cal Day, when all the clubs and school organizations came out in their little booths, and newly-accepted freshmen swarmed the campus with their parents. I swear, I think I’ve been walking to school (as opposed to bicycling) more often these days just to watch the show. Almost everywhere you look, you can spot an angry teenager. They’re angry for being forced to walk around with their parents in front of the very people they must convince of their coolness for the next few semesters. They’re angry because mom and dad are decked-out from head to toe in blue and gold Cal gear.



"MOM! Take off the the hat, you’re embarassing me!"



"Dad, can you put down the camera for a few seconds? Jeez!"



If you stop and listen carefully, comments like these can be heard all over.





Recently I’ve been getting to think that maybe I should concentrate on my CS classes and not worry so much about how I perform in my EE classes. After all, isn’t it better to learn as much as possible from the subjects that interest me, than to spread out the limited resources my poor excuse of a brain can muster, only to constantly worry about my overall GPA? I mean, we’re talking about a mere 15 blips/second here... Obviously, there are things to be learned in all of my classes so I won’t irresponsibly neglect the "uninteresting" ones, but it would be nice to satisfy my interests to their fullest. I always talk about how I love vacations because then I am able to selectively read things - things that weren’t shoved in front of my face. Maybe this way, I’ll have the best of both worlds. Wishful and naive thinking you say? Perhaps so. This seems to be one of those crossroads where you can’t tell which path is the correct path before actually reaching the final destination. Excelling in CS will act as evidence I made the right decision; however, emerging from the dust as a mediocre programmer most certainly grants anyone the right to call me a lazy-ass punk.





Finally, here’s an essay from the Heel Tribune that made my day.



E = MC Touch Me Right There, Oh God,Touch Me Right There

Tuna (USC)

Posted April 14, 2005 at 06:44 PM



"I like men with clean socks and big graphing calculators."

When you hear the word fetish, you generally think "Ewww. Feet. That’s disgusting." After all, just go to Google and type in the word, "feet." The most popular site is Wu’s Feet Links, featuring links to things like "Foot Vixens" and "Foot Babes." I freely admit I have a sick, twisted fetish and it is not for feet. Actually, to be truthful, feet make me want to vomit. If I could show you a picture of my boyfriend’s feet, peeling and disgusting, with a mysteriously black, rotting toenail, you would see why feet make me want to shove a plunger down my throat until I retch.



My fetish is far more sophisticated than feet. Complete math nerds turn me on. I was recently at a "man pageant" at USC and one of the "stud muffin" contestants solved a Rubix cube in under a minute as his talent. I am pretty sure that I experienced my first orgasm in my seat, which depresses me since I have had sex before.



My boyfriend is a Mechanical Engineering major, which to me, a Print Journalism major who would otherwise have very limited contact with mathematics and science, means I get to hear him talk about mathematics and science almost constantly. This leaves me in a perpetual state of horniness that really never gets alleviated thanks to the fact that he is not a dirty, dirty tramp like me. But, anyway, I can totally empathize with people that go to Wu’s Feet Links and gaze at pictures of red-lacquered toe nails on smooth white feet in strappy black high-heeled sandals and get off. I get off when my boyfriend starts talking to me about differential equations.



I failed algebra in eighth grade. I never made it past pre-calculus in high school. I don’t ever have to take mathematics again, thanks to the wonderful GE requirements of USC. God bless them, by the way. But, when I hear him talking about simulation problems in his differential equations class, I have a weird desire to jump him and screw his brains out on top of his computer desk.



You don’t understand, so I will give you a for instance in the hopes that my fetish will gain mainstream acceptance and recognition, and perhaps even a website with video clips of hot boys talking about fractions. (This will stop me from peeking at web casts of math problems and subsequently moaning in the computer lab. This generally gets me strange looks.)



Example: We will do our homework together in the library or at my apartment. He’ll be working on physics or differential equations. I’m writing a paper. (I am in a perpetual state of "writing a paper" because I foolishly signed up for USC’s "advanced" General Education program, Traumatic/Thematic Options.)



He’s having trouble with one of his problems and in a flustered voice, turns to me, pencil in mouth, hair ruffled, and says, "I’m so confused, (insert complicated explanation about why he is confused here.)"



I immediately put my notebook down and scoot next to him, being the helpful girlfriend I am. Despite the fact that I understand absolutely nothing of what he said past "I am confused," I ask him to explain his problem to me so he can perhaps see where he went wrong. As he is talking, I am melting, literally, into a pool of horniness that cannot possibly be equaled/paralleled/surpassed by any fourteen-year old boy furtively watching scrambled porn in his bedroom in the middle of the night.



He finally talks himself into figuring out his mistake and sweetly says thank you, kissing me on the cheek and returning to his work. I, however, am forced to return to my paper, hormones taking control of my brain and my body quivering with delicious anticipation for the next complex problem he doesn’t understand.



Conclusion: Not all fetishes are sick and weird, relying on feet in strappy sandals. Some fetishes are actually beneficial to the community at large, because, well, engineers need love too. So, if you play Halo, take advanced calculus 2, and can solve a Rubix cube in under a minute, I just want you to know that somewhere out there, probably lurking in a library peeking at your homework, a girl wants to screw your brains out because of your talents.









Is it true?!?! Is it true!?!
Posted by Eugene @ 2:34 am in School, Quotes

really funny girl in china

April 18, 2005

I’ve been procrastinating all morning, cyber-stalking people I’ve never met. I suuuuck at haggling, so people like this sort of impress me:



I bought a Chinese styled jacket today. The bargaining was such a headache since I actually wanted this so bad. I tried not to show it but it was hard.

First, it started off with me getting a fake Prada purse. Okay, so I didn’t want to get it, but I had no choice!! EVERYTHING is a FAKE brand name! It sucks ass, I’m serious. I just wanted a plain, black purse, but everything they make here is some cheap copy. I went to look for a plain purse at a department store, and it was so expensive. I gave up. Shanghai, you beat me on this one.

The purse was 180 yuan. I got it for 70. Muahahaha.

So I walked around and started to look for jackets because it’s getting cold. I went into this one store, and there it was, a pretty black silk jacket with black fur lining and orange and brown embroidered flowers. I told the guy I wanted to try it on. He goes, "How do you like it?"

Me: Ehh. Not bad. Too small.

He: Small? Not too small at all.

Me: It’s for my mom. I don’t really like it.

He: Oh, for your mom?

Me: Yup. How much?

He: 680.

Me: 300.

He: What!

Me: I know you get this for like 20 yuan, you know.

He: I don’t! It’s way more expensive than that!

So the usual banter goes on, and after five minutes, I’m losing ground because I like it so damn much.

Me: Dude, I’m a student, and I’m poor. You want me to pay 550 for this?

He: That’s the lowest I’ll go.

Me: No it’s not. 450.

He: No way.

Me: You’re never going to sell it at 550.

He: The foreigners will buy it.

Me: Oh yeah? I’ll walk around and tell them you’re a rip off.

He: Go check, no other stores have this.

Me: Walking around here will take around 40 steps. I charge 5 yuan per step, so you’re looking at a 400 sale.

He: You’re good at talking.

Me: You’re good at lying.

He: Where are you from?

Me: I charge 50 NT per question, so if you want to sell it to me for 550, you’re now down to 500.

He: What!

Me: Do you want to use that as your question?

He: There’s ATMs out there.

Me: Too far.

He: 550, final offer.

Me: Look in my wallet. You see the five 100 dollars? That’s ALL I have.

He: What about that 35 yuan over there?

Me: Are you kidding? How am I going to get home?

He: It costs 2 yuan for the subway!

Me: I’m going to take the taxi to bring soup to my grandmother’s house. She’s sick and can’t wait.

He: You’re lying.

Me: Takes one to know one.

He: 550.

Me: Okay. How about this. I’ll give you all the money in my wallet. Provided on one condition. I get to use whatever money I have first to get my way home. You get whatever money is left, after the trip is calculated, okay?

He: All right. Where do you live?

Me: Tibet. Looks like you owe me around 400 dollars USD.

He: What!

Me: Plus, the jacket should be free.

He: Okay, okay, 510.

Me: Chie! You even want to cheap me out of that 10 yuan that I could save for food?! Okay, whatever. But next time I want things cheap!!

So now I have this pretty jacket that would cost like 150$ at LEAST in the states. I’m happy. But now I’m broke. Shit.

Posted by Eugene @ 1:08 pm in Quotes, General

tapatio + tomato sauce = good shit

April 18, 2005
damn, i make a mean dish of spaghetti. too much garlic though, i smell like i straight chewed on a clove of garlic and squished it back and forth through my teeth.



reading my last post makes me want to slap some sense into my face... jeeeezus i have so much crap to do. i need to get some studying squeezed in before i knock out.



Sunday: 12:30p-10:00p, 11:00p-1:00a

Total Hours Studied: 11.5 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 12:34 pm in Health/Well Being, General

no more midterms!

April 16, 2005
My EE40 midterm wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, but if you consider how much material we were tested on, I guess it evens out. The hardest part was going into the exam having actually covered all of it. I went it with a broad and shallow understanding, when it should have been broad and deep. Oh well, I still have time until the finals.



I’ve been so busy that I didn’t realize Jack Johnson had come out with a new CD until a few weeks after it happened. "In Between Dreams" isn’t all that bad, but I think I prefer his older stuff. Breakdown, Good People, and Never Know are particular favorites of mine.



I finally did something tonight that didn’t involve coffee, books, or study groups. Eric visited Berkeley from San Jose, and we went out to dinner with Mike Lim. Afterwards, we were walking around campus and Mike gave us the tour. He pointed at one of the dorms and explained to us that it was an all-male dorm. For some reason, I heard him say it was an all-female dorm, so I announced to the both of them that I would "make a note of that" and even went as far as pretending to scribble it down on my imaginary notepad with my imaginary pen... Damn, I must have sounded pretty gay. We had a few good laughs...



Thursday

10:00a-1:30p

9:00p-11:00p

Total: 5.5 hours



Friday

2:00p-3:30p

Total: 1.5 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 3:32 am in School, Music

take that!

April 14, 2005
KILLED my 61A midterm tonight. Finished twenty minutes early - double check included, post-exam insecurities sold seperately. Now I have to cram for my 40 midterm tomorrow at noon. Having a hard time sleeping because I had 3 cups of coffee today.



... and switch.



One of the things I like to believe, is that ultimately, we have a choice in everything we face. For lack of a better example (my brain is pooped), consider the "super-set" of all choices: to live or not to live. If you choose to live, then you’ve chosen to deal with it. It’s as simple as that. Or is it? I don’t know. Logically, the answer is yes. To construct a simple, logical sequence in your mind is to come up with the conclusion that nobody has the right to complain about anything, since they always have the option of suicide.



I’ve been telling myself that because the things that I do or don’t do are unquestionably up to myself, I will never complain (to the best of my ability...) and just do whatever the hell I want. I’ve made decisions accordingly in the recent past, and I won’t say that I didn’t feel guilty about them. I dunno. In the same way I scoff at liberal ideas and yet surround myself with liberal friends, something about people who sacrifice themselves for "the greater good" appeals to me. Is it evolutionary psychology at work, or is it something else? Maybe it all ties in in the end with my "weird" tendency to believe that nothing is sincere unless you had full control over the action: to KNOW and exist in a state of pure, freedom-of-choice, allthewhile making choices that may occasionally seem irrational. Pure intention, without a hint of determinism. Now that’s what you call, "freedom."



In any case, I think it’s important to remember that no matter how much shit you need to get done, you can only do things one step at a time. Like a discrete-time signal. Damn you EE20N, stop offering me your sweet metaphors.



Man... I have a feeling my EE40 midterm is going to be hard.



Tuesday 1:00p-2:00p, 3:30p-11:30p

Total: 9 hours



Wednesday 10:30a-5:30p (straight!), 9:30p-11:30p

Total: 9 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 6:42 am in School

what to major in?

April 12, 2005
When I started here, I hated computer science and I loved electricity and magnetism, so I naturally chose an emphasis on electronics...



Damn it, circuit analysis is unbelieveably boring. I can’t really see how it could interest anyone. Whatever class I take, I’m usually able to find some aspect of the subject that interests me, but with only one month till finals, I find myself clueless as to how anyone could be remotely interested in this stuff. At least now I can cross out "Option I - Electronics" from my list.



As for "Option II - Communications, Networks, and Systems" - not feeling it either. My Signals and Systems class is raping me - and it is thoroughly enjoying the process. Not a hint of guilt on its part. How evil. I was considering concentrating on Signal Processing and landing a job in Defense, but now I’m having second thoughts.



CS61A, on the other hand, has resparked my interest in CS. I’m back to square one, the square I was in 3 years ago when I took my first C programming class. Who knew programming could be this interesting? I still have some doubts though. Am I able to plow through all this code for hours at a time because I’m unconciously avoiding my other classes? Or is it genuinely capturing my interest? All of this hopping around and reconfiguring my navigation system isn’t too reassuring either. Am I being swung this way and that way by something as trivial as how good the lecturer happens to be this particular sememster? One thing is for sure, LISP is really cool. It looks so simple, but can do so much.



So as of today, "Option IV - Computer Science" it is. At least until next sememster, that is.



* New Feature!

Monday, 4/11

Study Hours Logged: 12p-2p, 5p-11:30p

Total: 8.5 hours
Posted by Eugene @ 4:18 pm in School

ok, for real this time

April 11, 2005
I’m burnt out. I have an EE40 midterm on Wednesday, and a CS61A midterm on Thursday. I’ve been studying my ass off for them since my EE20N midterm kicked my ass last week, and I just realized that come Thursday night when I’m officially done with midterms, I’ll need to kick it up a notch for the finals.



Ahh, finals week. Yes, you are one week long. So why are all my finals taking place during the first TWO days?



Crap, I have to take a piss and my roommate is in the shower. He responsibly asks me whether I need to use the bathroom before he goes in, to which today I foolishly replied, "nah, go ahead." What’s so disgusting about peeing in the sink anyway? It’s not like you mix up yogurt in the drain before eating it.



Okay, he’s out. And so am I.
Posted by Eugene @ 3:50 pm in School, Health/Well Being