Well, that was unexpected.

Oh, new photos up at conspicuous.org/gallery. Subscribe to ibm_photo for the RSS, yo.

I’ve been in Ft. Lauderdale for the last week, visiting my folks. My car, laptop’s power supply, and most of my material posessions rest in Boulder with jennarosczyk. I’ll be meeting her and mephron tomorrow in Denver for NDK. I’m not much of an anime/manga fan, but it promises to be a fun weekend.

The drive back from Black Rock City to Denver was entirely too long. I’m getting too restless for this driving shit. My arms aren’t liking it either; I saw a neurologist this week about my increasing case of ulnar neuropathy (aka "truckers’ elbow"). Loss of sensation in the small two fingers on each hand means I need to stop driving, or find a partner in crime.

I’ll hopefully be heading to Michigan before I ensconce myself in Minneapolis and set up shop there. This would be in the next 3 weeks, either for the Interpol/Dorkwave event on the 25th, or for the next mi2600 meeting. I can only make one... any votes one way or another?

Oh, for those of you not following ioerror’s latest exploits, check jacob.wordpress.com, live from NOLA.

Greetings once again from Black Rock City. The Man was lit up about 4 hours ago, and I’m just now finishing my shift as 911 Dispatcher for Black Rock City, population 35,000+ of some of the strangest citizens to ever grace a municipality. 8 hours of chaos including but not limited to: a suicide attempt by self-immolation, two missing juveniles, multiple intoxicated and injured boys and girls, and a Giant Fucking Effigy being torched in the center of a 20,000+ body orgy.

I’ve had a cigar in my pocket this entire evening. I figured if I could work this shift without significantly fucking up, it would be an appropriate victory dance. Many other things in life will seem simple in comparison to working Burn Night in this capacity. Hopefully by this time next year, I will also be an EMT and able to work at the site itself.

Props to ardaniel for keeping me informed on global events whenever I surface.

I’ve been out in the city since Thursday evening, and I’ve had the unique pleasure of watching the city come up around me. bleakenigma and tygerdsebat caught up with me at Center Camp, a welcome surprise.

Right now, I’m working as an Emergency Services dispatcher, which is quite enjoyable. Hours of boredom punctuated by seconds of chaos and confusion. Sounds like the fun parts of my life.

I heard about Katrina last night. I only spent a weekend there a few years ago with lori, but I felt a deep love for the city, somewhere that I could live for awhile. I’ve never been laughed at by a bartender quite like that... I hope the city comes back to what it was. New Orleans is Detroit Done Right.

I’ll do a more complete BM writeup later. Life is good.

Here’s my love
Step inside let me warm you up
By the fire in my heart
Step inside close the door
On the wind the fear
Brewing up behind you

You could stay here
Make your home here
Hide away here
I could wrap you up in cotton wool

Here’s somewhere you could let your love run free
Come and give your soul a resting place
Finding someone is like finding yourself or home
If the key fits just open the door
Cause you’re never gonna spend a lonely day here
Come and watch your fear fly away
And you’ll never humble for a greener side then here
Gonna wrap you up in cotton wool and save you
And save you


My time in Colorado is growing short. I’ll be heading for Burning Man tomorrow, by way of Wyoming, Utah, and northern Nevada. I could definitely get used to life up here, and the idea of being perpetually transient is getting increasingly grating on both my body and mind. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks, and I’m getting numbness and pain in the small two fingers on each hand due to pinched ulnar nerves (a repetitive strain injury from driving, AKA "Trucker’s Elbow". I had to stop in the Reno ER last summer because I wasn’t sure if I was having a heart attack.)

A similar set of symptoms came about last year in the days before heading to Black Rock, and I definitely welcomed my time there. After leaving there this year, however, I’ll still be travelling for another month, visiting family and eventually moving to Minneapolis by October. I’m reaching the conclusion that travel is much more fun with both purpose and partners in crime.

Then again, by February I’ll probably be ready to burn Minneapolis to the ground and get out on the road agian. So much for balance.

1. Go here.
2. Pass it on.

1.~How did you meet juicycat? New years in pittsburgh
2.~What would you do if you had never met sr_foxley? not know anyone who has lived in Idaho.
3.~What do you honestly think of neffezzle? my brother.
4.~Would or did delayfx and jennarosczyk go out? I think they’d have fun on a date.
5.~Have you ever liked bleakenigma? Yes. Carnally.
6.~If wedgex died tomorrow, what is one thing that you would need him/her to know? Nobody goes to Hooters for wings.
7.~Would findsthepath and myfavoritetrick make a good couple? No.
8.~Describe whoisdialogue in 3 words: Little. Yellow. Different.
9.~Do you think psychogirl202 is hot? Yes.
10.~Would wedgex and eraserhead make a lovely couple? No.
11.~What do you think of when you see jennarosczyk? A smile.
12.~Tell me something humiliating about myfavoritetrick: Her RA roommate was crazy.
13.~Do you know any of viqsi’s family members? no.
14.~What’s amishone’s favorite color? Black.
15.~On a scale of 1-10 how cute is liger_skills? 3?
16.~What would you do if diosamblet just professed their undying love for you? Remind him that he really can’t handle his liquor.
17.~What language does delayfx speak? binary
18.~Who is gallimaufry going out with? erigeronglaucus
19.~Is bright_star a boy or a girl? my future ex-wife.
20.~Would onionsniper and diosamblet make a good couple? Not unless diosamblet got much more hardcore.
21.~Who do you think vja2 would be great with from this list? talinthas
22.~When was the last time you talked to psychogirl202? while she was in .nz
23.~What is bleakenigma’s favorite band? embarassingly, I don’t know.
24.~Does findsthepath have any siblings? yes?
25.~Would you ever date viqsi? probably not.
26.~Would you ever date whoisdialogue? probably not. I don’t think I’m in his league.
27.~Is vja2 single? Depends on the status of the trio[]
28.~What is amishone’s last name? One.
29.~What is onionsniper’s middle name? Muthafucka.
30~What is neffezzle’s fantasy? *censored for decency*
31.~Where does bright_star live? in my heart, forever and ever.
32.~Would you make out with juicycat? probably not
33.~Are sr_foxley and viqsi best friends? not that I know of, but I think they at least know one another.
34.~Does whoisdialogue like amishone? Probably would if they ever met.
35.~How did you meet onionsniper? she’s my ex-girlfriend’s ex-husband’s ex-fiancee’s friend. Simple as that.
36.~Is psychogirl202 older than you? no.
37.~Is eraserhead the sexiest person alive? Depends on how much he’s had to drink.

I’m currently in Boulder, CO, visiting the lovely miss jennarosczyk and company for a week. This is my first trip to Colorado, and I’m quite enjoying the place. It feels like a cross between the northwest and the good parts of Phoenix.

Technically, today I was an immigrant day laborer, washing dishes for well below minimum wage in a coffeeshop. It was voluntary, though, so I don’t think it counts. Still funny to look at it that way, however.

I head out to Burning Man leaving here next Tuesday. I will be travelling by way of Salt Lake City and Reno (I-25N from Denver to Cheyenne, then I-80W to Reno). Let me know if there’s anyone or anything I should be on the lookout for on that route. I hope to be on the playa by thursday night.

I will be arriving in Minneapolis around the first of October, with plenty of time to get settled in for work by 10/17. I’m planning on hitting a 2600 meeting.

Anything/anyone else I should look up or otherwise encounter while in Colorado, folks?

News from the past week:
-Slept in a tent in a trailer park in southern New Mexico. My travel companion was asked "about his A-rab friend" because "well, y’never can be sure in this day and age." Apparently he was calmed when he heard that "I was one of the good guys."

-Fielded a job interview call from the Owl Bar & Cafe in San Antonio, NM. I got the job I was incredibly excited about. I panicked and undersold myself as far as salary goes. Doh! Rookie mistake for a first-time post-college temp job. The Master Plan (pun intended) is to use my 4 months there to feel out their MFA in photography program, and apply for Fall ’06, a plan my soon-to-be-Overlords approved of highly. I figure that sitting down and seriously Learning all the tools and techniques I’ve been obsessed with will be both fun and useful. Who knows, maybe someday Lucrative.

-I will be moving to Minneapolis in early October. This will probably necessitate a detour through the G-Rap in mid-september. Anyone with friends and/or info in the area, hook me up.

-Visited the VLA again. Damn, I love that place.

-Spent five days camping in the southern New Mexico hinterlands. This included a fantastic backpacking endeavour with my friend Doug. I’m a bit of a candyass when it comes to endurance hikes with a full pack, apparently. I can, however, do technical climbs (quadrupedal cliff-face crawls over a river) under 50lbs load with thankfully little incident. Also filtered disgustingly muddy river water into quite palatable drinking water, thanks to the geniuses at MSR.

-Currently running around Silver City, NM, helping Doug edit and file an NPR story. Guerilla audio engineering is tricky, but we’re going all-out Gonzo on this one. 50ft extension cords from car inverters to payphones, Leathermen as collateral for headphones, and gratuitous wifi and powerbook usage.

As the good Doctor says, "When the going gets weird, the weird turn Pro."

It’s sixteen miles to the promised land, and I promise you I’m doing the best I can..."
Despite my best efforts, I once again survived DEFCON and five nights in vegas. Highlights, both good and bad:

-Seeing most of the old crew, with a few conspicuous (albeit understandable) absences.
-Trying to get Phil Zimmerman onstage, on time, with a working net connection and laptop audio. Realizing that none of these things would actually happen.
-Discovering the joy of the Camelbak. Shite-tasting water has never been so vital.
-Firing of the AV crew.
-Being told by a dancer that I had too much equipment (radios, cel, notebook, leatherman, headlamp, miscellany) in my pockets to receive a lapdance.
-Dry ice-cooled tequila luge.
-assisting tygerdsebat in the dunking of sketchthecow.
-kicking ass with Jim.
-Realizing that shit can be blowing up around me and I can still keep my head.
-Meeting another Brown Man Clone of myself.
-Pattython ’05. nickfarr Ate A Posse.
-Horsecock(sfw).
-Getting to know the Goons.
-Getting stopped at Hoover Dam. "Do you know how to ride that unicycle?", courtesy of the Nevada Highway Patrol’s checkpoint.
-Standing on a corner in Winslow, Arizona.
-Drunken contact lens extraction.
-Bavarian Hacker SausageFest 2005.

Now would be a good time to subscribe to ibm_photo, as things will be making their way soon from this past week.

Watch me fly away
Through the night sky yeah
Now that all you touched
Has finally turned gray
And roads can?t hold us down
Winds will move us around
With no need to return
to this gray town
Wanna bet I can tell
You?ve been in bed for too long
So let?s just say so long
And I watched you at the cove
You read on rocks below
And I turned home
without so much as hello
Wanna know where I go
I?ve been away for too long
And it?s hard to leave
when I haven?t seen
You in so long
And if we
had just held out for tomorrow
We might have seen
What seemed so far away
We didn?t even bother to stay
There it goes I can tell
You?re gonna to keep
your eyes to the ground
Waiting for something
to finally come around
Tell you that you knew
That you weren?t wrong
And it?s finally time for so long.

Update:
I’m in Vegas. Specifically, I’ve been driving for the last 3 days almost continuously, and sitting on the floor at the Vegas airport. Everything I own now fits in my Subaru. I’ll be meeting nickfarr here at the Vegas airport probably before I get a chance to post this. DEFCON starts friday.

I realized during the second day of driving that right now, this is the (mentally/emotionally/psychologically) healthiest I’ve been upon the end of a romantic relationship. For that, I am immeasurably grateful. It’s one of the kindest gifts I’ve ever receieved from someone, and I’ll never forget it. Thank you, my lover and (more importantly) friend.

Shit gets real crazy after tonight, I can guarantee. More updates as wireless and network security-enough-to-get-online-for-personal-stuff allows.

The gameplan thus far:
leave olympia on Sunday. Drive down to SF by monday afternoon. I will be travelling with my Documentary partners. This Documentary will include DEFCON, and travel through the southwest (Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico). Travels will include deserts, cities, observatories, rivers, wilderness areas, and forests, and other travels/photographic misadventures as they occur. Documentary activies should conclude by the middle of next month. After that, I have ten days to get to Black Rock City and work again as an emergency dispatcher, while having a hell of a good time.

I know I live better on the road, in the desert, or while running around with my camera. I’m just getting sedentary and unhealthy up here in WA, but I’ll be barreling down I-5 in a few days... hours really.

Landlord melodrama is nearing its end.. I’ve lost too much sleep over this drama regarding my deposit, and just want it done with. That’s what the next two days are for, along with everything else. I think I’ve got rid of everything that won’t fit in the car (got rid of also includes mailing 69.15 lbs of books and college notebooks, along with 40lbs of miscellany, to my parents.

Come early September, post-Burn, I’ll be heading to SF again to retrieve my belongings from storage. at that point, I’ll either be travelling in pursuit of a job, or heading to Tucson for the winter to live a healthy winter in the desert, while getting my photo portfolio together in pursuit of an MFA in photography program.


Please speak to me in a comment, or email me (my username) at livejournal.com if you are willing or interested in interviewing with me during DEFCON weekend about your geekish experiences. Or also ask me at DEFCON.

whisky tango foxtrot, y’know?

It only took about a year of promises, but I’ve set up a gallery installation. I’ll be putting photos at http://conspicuous.org/gallery. Also, add ibm_photo to your friends list - an RSS feed of my gallery. New photos will probably be making their way there from here on out, and there’s an album of previously posted photos there as well. Also, please take advantage of the voting functionality built-in.

Let me know how this format works. I’ll probably be posting one-off, edited shots to this journal as well.

So add ibm_photo to your friends list already.

I took some photos tonight.
A lot of photos.
And for a change, I was happy with a disturbing number of them.
Rather than posting just one from all this, I’m upping 640x426 thumbs of the ones that caught my eye. This is in marked contrast to my usual posting of one, with a link to the fullsize version of it.
I realized that I’ve been feeling paralyzed by the format I chose originally (which I chose out of simplicity and antisocial behavior).

This might be a tradeoff of quality vs quantity, but I know more than one person has asked me recently to post more photos out of a set.

I’ll be experimenting with format in the coming days and weeks. I’ll also be working on a web portfolio, more formal than livejournal. If you have web design-fu (I’m thinking simple, not exotic flash) and are willing to help me build a showcase for my work (in pursuit of graduate school admission and/or work as a photographer) I’d love your help.

There will be more photos from this evening posted within the next few hours.
Also, if anyone reading this has a handy script for making img src= html from a list of JPGs, post the script in a comment, please. ardaniel is gettin’ her perl groove on right now to help out.

hooray for bars with wifi.

talk me out of this.

A wide angle lens, especially when trekking through desert landscapes, or shooting scenes with more than one subject, would be dead sexy. I know how I’d like to use it, I’m just weary of throwing more money at a situation than expertise.

And for the love of god, I wish I could colorsync this powerbook so it doesn’t look like ass. Yes, I’ve used colorsync, and yes i’ve used supercal. It makes me covet a usb spectrophotometer that works with lcds, including laptops.

from (saint_monkey’s post)


White House Transcript of the press briefing where the press corps wakes up from it’s five year drinking binge and decides to attack Scott McClellan like a gang of wild dogs. (Regarding the Rove affair.) I bet the Press Office regrets letting actual journalists into the room.

pocket camera: check.
512mb SD card for pocket camera: check.
underwater case for pocket camera: check.

ok. ready for underwater/extreme desert weather photography as well. This is one reason I’m actually hoping for inclement weather during august, including at burning man.

ok. no more photo editing while wearing contacts. my contrast ratios are blown to shit, and I can’t see detail to save my life.

I’ve started posting again in part due to a photo-a-day pact with my buddy Ryan. If anyone else wants in on this action, we’re posting a photo a day to our sites. It doesn’t have to be taken that day, but it’s a good encouragement to keep shooting and looking at ones own work critically. I love taking photos, but I’m often at a loss as to what to do with them afterwards.

Join us! post below, put a link to your site, and start amazing the lot of us.

No concrete news from my family in London, one way or another. now seems to be a good time to set up Skype to find out from them. The Kings Cross blast is the one I’m concerned about -- my family owns hotels right across the street (bad) and often commutes using the tube (bad), but would have already been at work (good), and wouldn’t take the Picadilly line in (good). My phone is dead (bad) and I don’t have numbers to call (bad) but I’m checking in by email/SMS ASAP.

Probability is on our side. That, and I woke up with no family-related voicemails, and the family phone chain moves quicker than that.
Update 09:43 PDT: Just got an email from one of my aunts, who manages the hotel across the road from Kings Cross station. All clear for our folks.

According to Wikipedia, the following:
# United States President George W. Bush has said, "We will not yield to the terrorists, and will find them and bring them to justice."

Great way to show sympathy and support for an ally, boss. Just great.

It’s a good day at the office when your boss tells you to stop working on that useless documentation project, and start speccing out a mythtv box for running the campus cabletv video-on-demand system...

Damn it feels good to be a hamst^H^H^H^H^Hgangsta.

more proof that cameras and rollerskates do indeed mix.

-moving in to a house to try and get a feeling of Home.
-paying too much in rent to two raging yuppie assholes, for an overpriced dungheap of a house.
-not asking a roommate for deposit, because he’s a friend.
-staying for a year, when I should have cut and run.
-spending 3 days straight cleaning and moving (with the assistance of seven people) because my roommate skipped town instead of cleaning.
-not owning a lawn mower.
-getting fucked out of the deposit due to yard maintenance.
-bothering to clean the house when the yard cost me the deposit anyways.

Oddly enough, not spending any time at said house wasn’t a mistake, including being gone for three solid months. I think it was avoidance of a worsening situation. Seeing how in that time I also got to travel and see many of my friends (including lots of y’all that I don’t otherwise get to see) it’s a good thing.

if getting a house is the most expensive mistake I’ve made in years, then I’m doing a damn good job.

fuck houses. fuck deposits. fuck leases. fuck roommates. fuck "nesting". I’m moving in to my station wagon again and not stopping until I want to pass out from sensory overload and physical/psychological exhaustion. When that happens, you’ll probably find me recharging on a couch, spare bed, or floor near you. It’s arguably what I’m best at.

Rock over London, Rock on Chicago.
Kinkos, it’s the new way to office

I’m going to try get in the habit of posting a photo a day again. I did that once for over 4 months straight (if you never saw them, look in my lj from november 2003 to feb 2004) and it did wonders for my ability and desire to shoot (and post) regularly.

I heard Oriah Mountain Dreamer (author of What We Ache For : Creativity and the Unfolding of Your Soul) speaking on a canadian radio talkshow last night. From that I recieved the shakabuku which I’ve needed for the past few weeks (where I’ve been feeling especially uncreative) to get back in the habit of shooting and seeing creatively. I’m going to get back in that habit again now. I’ll try and post a photo daily for this next week, and see where it goes from there.

...Now it just gets worse, like my stomach ’ll burst,
feel like I’ve been cursed.
With seven centuries of bitter memories
And inadequacies, previous he’s and she’s
I’m movin’ round this old house for the last time
Scene of my past crimes, been here for lifetimes
Hearin’ the chimes of the old clock that used to mock
You got eternity for takin’ stock,
this place is like a padlock
You look shocked.
Trust me, nothing ever moves but the dust,
There’s just us and I’m here to torment and tease
And that’s how it was for centuries
Me and my memories, till you brought the keys
Took the couple of Saturdays
I moved in runnin’ from tragedies and boozing
Seven hundred years since I came here
You appear, same hair, same quizzical stare
I couldn’t get near,
And the sheer frustration was more than I could bear
I was really cursed, thought I’d been through the worst part
That was just the first part, just the start
Every night I’d be sitting with dread, breaking my heart
In case the man she’d been chasin’ gets to first base
And I just can’t escape, I’m in bad shape
You making love to someone else is more than I can take
And so I make all the movement I can to no avail
Scream and yell, sinkin’ deeper into my personal hell...

Some nights, I just sit here and talk to the photographs. Entirely too much of my life has happened in this house, and some nights I’m confronted by all of it at once. It doesn’t freak me out anymore, in fact it’s oddly familiar. It reminds me of late night, coffee-induced evenings at the Fleetwood.

Three weeks from now, I hit the road and my life once again changes more than I’ll be prepared to expect. Hope for the best, prepare for the rest...

now, back to packing. maybe sleep.

oh yeah. I graduated college. Six years, two bachelors degrees. Vague notions of a plan for the immediate future. Anyone need a geek/chemist/photographer/hacker?

Per these instructions I turned on public tagging to my lj. Any registered lj user can add, edit and remove tags on this journal.

noweb4u++ for fixing my BIND named.conf problems with netreg. Apparently he was also password recovering a cisco layer 3 switch and installing solaris on an 8 way box while fixing my problem through a shared screen session.

If symlinks were duct tape, then I’d be Red Green. Phooey to software packages with verbose but inconsistent documentation, and lack of internal consistency for config files.

I hate you, netreg.

Recently, I’ve been getting Pickup Truck Envy, due to the interesting times where my trusty Subaru, Elise, has come up short (literally) due to ground clearance, 4WD capability, or cargo capacity. My wandering eye has been gazing lustily at the toyota tacoma lately, despite the fact that I’m quite happy with Elise for most purposes and will probably be with her for some time to come, mechanical crisis or accidental tragedy notwithstanding. Fuel economy, of course, is crucial considering how I like to travel, and I don’t quite like the idea of being one of those excessive SUV owner types. Having a vehicle that I can fit my life in and take anywhere, however, is all the stability and security of a living situation which I desire right now.

A friend pointed me to this clip last week, taken from Top Gear, an auto show in the UK. This is probably the most extreme torture test I’ve seen enacted on a vehicle. Well worth the 13mb download.

Real Update coming soon.

when the going gets weird, the weird turn Pro.

And I feel like
Some bird of paradise
My bad fortune slipping away
And I feel the
Innocence of a child
Everybody’s got something good to say

So I take my
Good fortune
And I fantasize
Of our leaving
Like some modern-day
Gypsy landslide
Like some modern day
Bonnie and Clyde

On the run again
On the run again


Props to bright_star and her cunning linguistic skills. Yesterday I got my first page 1 photo print in the CPJ (campus paper), albeit below the fold. Still, ink is ink and firsts are worth noting.

How many actions in a given day are performed out of desire versus habit versus necessity? Which other axes am I not considering? Love and Fear?

Holy Fucking Shazbot.

the story thus far:
I’ve had ~35gb of music on my powerbook’s internal drive (referred to henceforth as Alice). much of that is from my larger collection of ~50gb (Bob), living on an external firewire drive. I’m trying to clear up the internal drive and unify my mp3 directories once again.

Using RsyncX, I decided to update Bob’s collection using mp3s from Alice. After a few attempts and a few hours, this resulted in one large 90gb directory. Upon importing the directory into iTunes and checking for duplicates, apparently 16gb, 3000 tracks of this material in Bob is duplicate.

Now is where it gets Squicky.

Many of these duplicates are not actually mp3s, but nonsense duplicate files of arbitrary size, but with valid ID3 tags.

example:

-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 2090341 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 1.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 2300993 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 10.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 7684516 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 11.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 2250838 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 12.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 5722198 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 13.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 9218008 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 2.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 6774201 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 3.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 6184879 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 4.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 3855174 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 5.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 4919089 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 6.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 2502240 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 7.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 6353525 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 8.mp3
-rw-r--r-- 1 kk wheel 731765 Dec 2 14:47 32 Hey You 9.mp3
-rwxr-xr-x 1 kk kk 4494281 Sep 22 2003 32 Hey You.mp3
pants:/Volumes/Cargo/music/Pink Floyd/The Wall (disc 2) kk$

I don’t care how stoned you are, but there aren’t 14 versions of Hey You on that album.
To the best of my knowledge, this problem didn’t exist in my library prior to tonight.

Does anyone have any idea or experience like this?

I’d also be appreciate of any script/regex ninjitsu to crawl a directory structure, find files which have the same name except the number before the extension suffix, and delete said dupes...

Yesterday was a good day.

I took photos for the Carnival.

Thermite is fun!


Then, I got to cuddle with my girl, bright_star and two lovely friends of ours.

Then, I took photos of a wizard teaching us science! I got pelted by breakfast cereal in a demonstration of Bernoulli’s priniciple!



Later on that day, my homie Conrad was performing downtown. Conrad dropped the lyrical and musical bomb at the venue, a converted mechanic’s garage.

Afterwards, my lady, my friends and myself partied until the wee hours. I got to mac geek with said friends, and positioned our wifi for more powerful penetration of the bedrooms. At the end of it all, a good warm snuggle...

Yesterday I didn’t even have to use my AK.
I got to say it was a good day.

I just found my MCAT scores from summer 2003. The envelope is covered in blood, mud, playa, pepsi and is mangled almost past the point of being recognizable.

Amazing what can happen in a year or few.

I didn’t even do that bad on it, either.

Oh. My. God.
...and i find out about shit like this as i’m finishing my first two bachelors degrees? I think I need to be here regardless.

Am I thoroughly off base? is this me hiding from the real world even more? Who really shot JR?

And yes I’m a better friend, than I’ve ever been a lover
And that’s not saying much, but I’m not saying much today

-elbow, "lucky with disease"


Is there any appropriate response or course of action when you see a lesson from your painful personal past being re-enacted by someone close to you?

I’m watching a breakup whose time has long since come, with a friend of mine. Her fellow is very much a Manly Man but not a Gentleman, and it shows in how he acts towards her and treats her. I know the error in his ways, because I did that once, several years and many lifetimes ago. I know I learned from my past because I was able to relate the lessons I learned, and *gasp* morals of the story to my friend.

So far today, I’ve seen him take so many of the desperate steps which I remember taking years ago, when I was in his shoes. While I like to think that I learned my lesson and I’m done with it, it’s painful to watch it enacted in what is ostensibly and literally my living room as of late. It’s not my situation to deal with, not by a long shot, but I consider myself an honest friend of the woman involved. I’m not in this to save anyone, or to right my past wrongs.

What’s there to do? I was travelling with my friend today, and we spent today talking her about our experiences, both good and bad, and about the lessons I learned from my actions. It’s like surviving a plane crash, and then years later, watching the TLC documentary about what damn year broke you. Chew on that, disaster_porn.

Anyways, I’ve said my piece to her, and tried to make my peace with my own past. Anything else that happens isn’t a reflection on me, it’s just someone else having their Lovely Growing Experience/Adventures.

:)

I’ve..:
-gone to Vancouver (not onionsniper’s vancouver, but the cool one) last weekend with B to hang out with my sister and have a good time. Those objectives, and much more photography, were accomplished.

-Gone to the Vancouver Aquarium and immediately craved sushi

-finished a writeup of the only interesting thing I’ve accomplished this year, academically. 11 pages of screen shots, baby!

-watched a Mac Dre music video/DVD. this guy is crazy. So is eraserhead

-spent half of today unicycling. I’m pretty good as long as I have someone’s clavicle to lean on.

-Given a chick a black eye, both a first for me and her. She totally deserved it, though.

-been rollerskating. There was a May Day party at Skateland in olympia, which I enjoyed far too much for my own good. My legs will probably fall off below the knee...

-Watched really bad stoner movies with B, while pretty sober. Not a wise choice.

-hung out in a Vancouver pot bar with Hank the Tank, a 6’8" diabetic amputee ex-fisherman strip club bouncer/photographer. He has a size 18 prosthetic left foot, and a minivan.


My lab has no gone from somewhere that I used to be psyched about going, to somewhere I stash my unicycle while I’m getting dinner.

on that note, time to fall over again. a website/gallery with more photos is in the works, now that a password reset has taken hold. Thanks, lwood!

I was in a bar tonight for a friend’s 21st birthday, when an older guy offered me $50 to use my cel phone. Naturally, I was intrigued, but not for the money. I gave him my phone in exchange for a gin & tonic, and we chatted. He asked me if I was following my dreams (yes, very cliché, but quite relevant) and I had to think for a minute and wonder which ones I am indeed following. I chatted with him for the better part of a half hour to find out where he was coming from, who he was, and where he’d been... His father, a racecar driver, had died this week, and his grandmother had in the past few months. He was drunk, friendless, and suddenly a millionaire. After the bartender cut him off and threw him out, I rejoined my girlfriend and our birthday boy, but definitely appreciated the experience of the evening. I’ve had good karma with drunken rednecks in bars thus far, and I rather enjoy the conversations that come out of the experience.

Laura,
Can’t you give me some time?
I got to give myself one more chance.
To be the man that I know I am.
("Laura", Scissor Sisters)

I’ve had that damned song running through my head this whole afternoon. I’ve only heard the scissor sisters through a DJ Riko remix of that track... is the rest of their body of work worth a listen?

hrm.. sexy geeky redhead waiting in a warm bed behind me. why am I blogging at a time like this?

If you’ve not been following ioerror’s journal, you’re missing out. He’s right now in Kurdistan as a civilian/hacker/photographer, having the adventure I wish I were having right now. Beautiful shots and interesting stories from a good friend of mine.

Safe and adventurous travels, Jake.

If the humor of this scene misses you, this should help. Frank Moss of the State Department is demonstrating the RFID-esque chips in the new US Passports (to be issued within the next year or few) to a crowd, including John Gilmore, a founder of the EFF.

I’m up in seattle for the next few days at CFP, and I’ve definitely been learning/seeing/geeking a lot. I’ve had the fun opportunity to reconnect with the EFF, who I met while working defcon this year. Considering the almost stereotypical "oh shit, I’m graduating, now what?" hysteria that’s engulfing my waking life, this con has been a godsend. Who knows, I might even have a future in this stuff someday...

Oh, to the guy dressed in goodwill threads this evening? The Audi S4 you were stepping out of kinda blows your street cred.

happiness is:

-a hot girlfriend, some cool friends, and a night away from the mundane
-dancing in your underwear in someone elses’ living room
-finding someone new to geek out with, and learn from while teaching to
-remembering why you are fiercely in love with your life
-going to see The Life Aquatic, and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas as a double feature
-Mac and Jacks African Amber Ale
-a warm gun
-realizing that your prof that you are the Worst Student Ever isn’t a fatal condition
-plotting summer mischief
-having a resume that you are actually proud of, both in content and presentation
-Hardcore Spooning
-having duct tape when it is needed the most
-actually feeling tired, for the first time in ages, and being able to sleep

in the past month, I’ve had at least two dreams which involve me getting shot (once by disgruntled rastafarians having angry words with my grandmother). Last night, I threw up twice (dreamwise) from anxiety of losing my camera/laptop bag. I don’t recall having dreams this visceral or vivid in recent memory.. wonder what’s up.

Antarctica personal statement shall be finished today.

Once again, I’ve made it back to Olympia, after ten days between LA, Joshua Tree NP, San Diego, and Tijuana. Notable moments:
-INO with ardaniel. There are very few things I would not do for a Double Double, animal style.
-buying firewood in Marina Del Rey, CA
-coordinating a hunt for a campsite by radio
-wearing more layers than I have in my life, camping in the high desert
-moonlight in Joshua Tree National Park
-climbing boulders by moonlight
-discovering my complete lack of upper body muscle
-Tastybites
-pay-by-the-minute showers in Joshua Tree
-discovering that old friends from high school are even cooler now than before
-getting lost while trying to find my own tent
-rush hour commuter train from San Diego to Tijuana
-discovering that tijuana must have the highest number of pharmacists per square mile (possibly per capita?) I’ve ever seen.
-sipping Don Julio and smoking a Cohiba while watching boxing in a Tijuana bar and being accosted by Fernando
-having to back a friend up as he argues the correct pesos to USD exchange rate in a Tijuana strip club
-the third testicle
-playing laser pong in an Encinitas garage while listening to techno
-manhole-sized blueberry pancakes
-making a 1984 Chevy Celebrity station wagon, courtesy of RentAWreck look like it’s never left LA county
-Tax attorneys in the abyssmal LAX bar
-2 gigabytes of photos in 10 days

on a shittier note, I discovered that the NOLS wilderness EMT course I’ve been geeked about is full for the summer session which I was going for. Deposit $$ couldn’t come together before this trip, and now it’s too late. This also leaves me trying to figure out what to do between june 10th and Defcon.

Taxi coming in 3.5 hours to whisk me away to FLL
Flight to ATL, then SEA, arriving 9am pacific
renting a car, hitting REI to spend my hefty dividend check, then back to olympia
meeting with career development to ask for resume advice
picking up my paycheck while on campus
buying supplies
seeing my girl
unpacking my suitcase
packing my duffel bag
keeping my camera and laptop bag packed.
sleeping for 3-4 hours
and driving to seatac again
returning the rental
flying to LAX
driving to joshua tree
ten days in the desert
camping, climbing, photographing, and hopefully sleeping at some point.

"So you never wanted a regular type life?"
"What the fuck is that? Barbeques and ballgames?"

s/my own filth/writing a tech resume

The Hard Part of Operation Other Polar Express is done. Personal Statement shall be completed tomorrow.

lanthinel++ a metric shitload for expert resume advice. Wow. Every detail I overlooked? Bam, spotted, with a correction offered. If I get this position, even a secondary, it’s in no small part due to him.


If you only knew how badly I wanted to taste Antarctic snow, you’d understand why I’m up until 6am on a monday morning, writing a resume for Raytheon.

QOTD:
And yes I’m a better friend, than I’ve ever been a lover
And that’s not saying much, but I’m not saying much today
--Elbow - Lucky With Disease

(ps: if anyone has an mp3 of Elbow - Lucky With Disease, or any other Elbow mp3s for that matter, I will reward you handsomely if you choose to share...)

Drinking whiskey, smoking a cigar, and reading a Robert Capa biography at the bar inspires me to do odd things...

like grabbing my camera and chasing after 2 dozen bagpipe-wielding NYPD officers on fort lauderdale beach, while smoking a cigar.

I’m writing my Cover Letter/Personal Statement for my application to this job

The angle I’m going for on my cover letter? I have years of extensive end-user tech support experience. I also have years of lab research experience, which has helped me develop methodical problem-solving skills. In addition, I have experience working in scientific research environments, also with tempermental/arcane instrumentation equipment, tied to equally tempermental/arcane computers.

I’m having trouble tying this information all together for a well-put-together paragraph to this effect. Hopefully it’ll be easier come morning, but I would appreciate any and all editorial help on this matter. If you can help me hit the nail on the head in this matter, I will furnish you with a print of your choice of one of my photos.

(Keep in mind that I could really use your help even if you don’t want a photo. Conversely, you’ll probably get a print of your choice if you ask me when I’m not running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I really need to finish this app this week, though, and I need the help.)

So.. yeah. help me out by writing a cover letter-worthy draft of the above in a comment, please.

(atlanta, GA)

So, back in florida again for the week, visiting the folks and such. I’ll hopefully be getting more photo editing done, and maybe even going toe to toe with my sister, photoshop style. I’m doing my damndest to keep drama at a minimum on this trip, even if it kills me. I just don’t have the time or energy for it.

So, by my own diagnosis, I have strained or pulled my left Flexor Pollicis Brevis. I’m chalkng this up to repetitive strain, from two highly important tasks I perform during the average day as of late:

-Pipetting. my lab work consists of being able to repeatedly and rapidly pipet and transfer ~10 microliters of liquid in a precise manner, through use of a pipetman. Pipetmen are controlled by slow, steady thumb pressure, namely, by the Flexor Pollicis Brevis.

-Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Beth’s neighbors/housemates have GTA:SA. It is beautiful. It is fun. It is decadent. It is something I will incessantly play, even when I should be doing other things, like paying attention to the sexy redhead nibbling on my earlobe and humping my leg. I use my Flexor Pollicis Brevis to drive my vehicle and maneuver my homeboy CJ Johnson through his hood, while cappin’ bitches and slappin’ hoes.


So yes. I have a repetitive strain injury from analysis of protein interactions with polymers, and from excessive carjacking. I wonder if I can get a Syndrome named after me, or at least a journal article...

In other news, I’m flying to florida saturday night for some family business. I’ll be online, of course, but on the wrong coast. Family drama is to be expected, but such is life. Maybe I’ll get around to reading some of these grand books I’ve accrued and accreted in the past few weeks, and posting some of several hundred photos of the past few months.

This weekend, I acquired a new lens, monopod, Robert Capa biography, and digital photography techniques handbook, not to mention a new hole in my wallet. Thus far, I’ve learned loads from each of the afforementioned, and intend to get more. Tomorrow, I’m meeting up with my friend Doug to figure out whether seeing the world on someone else’s dime is at all feasable nowadays.

On that note, I should’ve been asleep lifetimes ago. Cursed scotch and rilo kiley!

Well I guess what you say is true
I could never the right kind of girl for you.
I could never be your woman.

Jesus.

There he goes. One of God’s own prototypes. Some kind of high powered mutant never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

What can I say to this one? I’m running pretty low on heroes lately, and he’s been one of the brightest stars by which I’ve navigated. I’ve got myself into some interesting shit in months and years past in pursuit of figuring out whatever the hell Gonzo is. I figured out a bit of the lifestyle first, and I think over the years, I found my voice. I’m not much of a writer; it’s not how I’ve taken to expressing myself. I picked up a camera instead, and got into The Shit that way. Those of you who’ve seen me with my camera, or seen the things I try and capture, probably understand what I mean when I say Gonzo Photojournalism.

This suicide coincides with a crisis that’s been brewing in my own head and heart for some time now.

Once my labwork shapes up a bit, I intend to put together a solid portfolio and try my hand at selling myself as a photographer.

I’ve been on the fence about a career in medicine for years, and realized recently that I can’t in good conscience embrace that lifestyle in the immediate future. Mrs. dagoski (who really needs her own LJ username, btw) concreted my belief that the tedium of research science would break me. If I can find a way to make my part-time lifestyle of vagabond photographer/geek-at-large pay for itself, I’d be there in a heartbeat. It’s the only time I really feel alive, and I tend to sink into a depression the moment I sit still at "home". I’m trying to figure out what I’m more afraid of: doing what Vincent Vega would call "being a bum", or being in a profession which I might be good at, make some coin at, but will take another ~5-10 years of training and I might not be all that passionate about? The ages-old Adventure vs. Security coin-toss, I suppose.

Anybody need a photographer/chemist/geek/juggler/long haul driver come july? I have my own gear...

(today was going so fuckin’ well, too.. I got laid, I got a fantastic professional massage for free, and I got some delicious BBQ with eraserhead. Fuck.)

You know that moment where your captor removes the barrel of her gun from your forehead, puts the safety on and smiles at you?

I just had one of those.

It looks like I will be able to get my credits without having a completed research project, which means I’ll be able to graduate and sleep without a regimen of trucker speed and sedatives to get me through the days and nights, respectively.

on that note, I go home and sleep now, dammit.

"Stress is the confusion created when the mind overrides the body’s basic desire to choke the living shit out of some jerk who desperately deserves it." -- Anon.

between lab and banality, I’ll be happy when my day doesn’t consist of persistent feelings of futility, punctuated by occasional vomitous tachycardic moments of anxiety. I thought I’d left those behind months ago.

I live a lot better when I’m out and about. there’s got to be a way I can incorporate my sci-geekness, the computer stuff, photography and a serious case of wanderlust. Spring break seems to be leading towards a camping/climbing/photo trip to Joshua Tree NP, and early summer’s NOLS plans seem have a green light, barring something stupid. If I don’t get my credits from this year (serious possibility, depending on the outcome of this project), I can graduate with credits from NOLS.


Also, a prize goes to the first person to give me a good reason to why I was listening to Annie Lennox covering the Clash’s Train in Vain. I want those minutes of my life back, damn it.

Yesterday’s purchases:

Orthopædic insoles
Billy Idol’s Greatest Hits

That, and I got excessively excited when I found out that Blue Öyster Cult are playing Portland 3/25.

What’s my age again?

That said, life here is chugging along. I’ve put med/grad school plans on temporary to indefinite hold, pending a less tenuous grip on what I want from a prospective future... right now, medschool isn’t it, and I’ve lost most of my taste for graduate-style research. I’ll be doing a wilderness EMT course at NOLS this summer if plans hold together, and after that, I’m open for suggestion/fate/divine intervention. I’ll think about all that after my 4/15 deadline on my lab stuff, however.

(edited to change ? to æ, as tracerj inadvertently pointed that gaffe out to me.)

Olympia: The rumors of my demise were premature. I’m back.

The rest of the world: I think I took a wrong turn. After 5 weeks and two continents, I ended up back in Olympia. I’m guessing my GPS needs new batteries.

A belated happy Groundhog Day to my dearest Renée. Your gift shall be in the post this next week, I hope.

I’m once again pondering my future fate. My ass (and much of the connected bone and tissue) belongs to my chem prof, lab project, and a slightly awkward existence in this research project (for which I’ve lost most of my enthusiasm), for the next 10 weeks.

Thankfully, however, I’m already skipping town this weekend, in search of a sea breeze (not the beverage) and a bit of peace and quiet.

Photos and a more verbose breakdown of the last month or few shall be had sometime soon, probably. I also haven’t been reading journals, et cetera reliably for the last month, so if something significant happened in your world which I probably missed but you think I should know about, comment within.

I’ve been told that the customary thing to say at this point is "It’s good to be back." Maybe it is...

There’s blood in my mouth because I’ve been biting my tongue all week.

There is some serious hacker irony in using an intercepted, unsecured wireless signal to arrange a visit to Bletchley Park tomorrow.

Family situation is better. I also leave on tuesday afternoon. dagoski I arrive on british airways # BA0069 tuesday night. All told, this has been a good trip, but I’m looking forward to sitting still for a bit, once I hit washington. That might not be happening much either, though...

Send Valium.

An exceptional amount of nothing to report from the UK the last few days. I’m subjected to the whim of my family for exploring/travel/photography stuff right now, and they’re driving me a bit crazy for reasons I shant discuss here. I’ve not been able to Get My Adventure On since I’ve been here, and prospects are looking grim. I’ll making the best of it, though... Sunday or Monday, I’m going to Bletchley Park, and I don’t give a shit who gets indignant about it.

But I’ll be happy when my return flight on tuesday rolls around. (hey dagoski, my flight in philly arrives at 19:10 on the 25th... think you could meet me around 21:00? I could call you when I clear customs...