Winter approaches.
November 7, 2006Yesterday it was 65 degrees. When I went outside this morning it was 45 degrees. I felt like someone slapped me in the nuts.
Posted by Paddy-D @
10:35 am in
General
Archive for 'Paddy-D'
A dialogue
November 7, 2006Patrick: I don’t believe in avocados.
Coworker: ...? What the hell are you talking about?
Patrick: I, I don’t understand your question.
Coworker: What?
Patrick: What-what?
Posted by Paddy-D @
9:56 am in
General
Coworker: ...? What the hell are you talking about?
Patrick: I, I don’t understand your question.
Coworker: What?
Patrick: What-what?
Thriller!
October 9, 2006It’s pretty much the exactly the same except it sucks and it’s fun to laugh at.
As a linguist I can tell you that crotch thrusts are indeed universal and I try to work them in to the majority of my conversations with other people.
Posted by Paddy-D @
9:54 am in
General
As a linguist I can tell you that crotch thrusts are indeed universal and I try to work them in to the majority of my conversations with other people.
RIP SeXibLaster885
October 8, 2006I must play too many video games. I was looking at Cnn.com and one of the headlines was "Quake victims mourned a year later" and it took me a good couple of seconds to realize they were talking about an earthquake.
I was like, "Man that must have been some serious pwnage!"
Posted by Paddy-D @
11:17 am in
General
I was like, "Man that must have been some serious pwnage!"
Go on without me
October 8, 2006When the kids come into the classroom (I teach English btw) I usually ask them a few simple questions. I guess I’ve been doing the same ones for a while because today a little girl started answering as soon as she came through the door. I’m not making this up, I wrote it down right after it happened so I wouldn’t forget.
Patrick: Hello Mayumi! Ho-
Mayumi: I’m fine thank you.
Patrick: Um, how are you?
Mayumi: I am six years old.
Patrick: Honey, wait until I ask the quest-
Mayumi: I like strawberries.
Patrick: Um...okay.
Mayumi: Purple.
Patrick: Good times.
She then gave a little bow and went to her seat.
Posted by Paddy-D @
11:06 am in
General
Patrick: Hello Mayumi! Ho-
Mayumi: I’m fine thank you.
Patrick: Um, how are you?
Mayumi: I am six years old.
Patrick: Honey, wait until I ask the quest-
Mayumi: I like strawberries.
Patrick: Um...okay.
Mayumi: Purple.
Patrick: Good times.
She then gave a little bow and went to her seat.
F U 2
October 7, 2006For my last post I had to type in the scrambled letters at the bottom to verify that I’m a real person before it would post.
The letters were ’fudik.’
Posted by Paddy-D @
3:55 pm in
General
The letters were ’fudik.’
I’ve got two more
October 7, 2006I have a class with some elderly ladies once a week and we were discussing expressions for dissapointments the other day. Things like, "O well" and "What can you do" and some more serious ones like, "I’m so sorry to hear about your Wife/Dog."
They were having a hard time distinguishing what levels of severity each expression conveys, especially "O Well." The example that I gave (wrote it on the board) was this:
Correct:
A-san: "I lost your pen."
B-san: "Oh, well."
Incorrect:
A-san: "I lost your baby."
B-san: "Oh, well."
How did it go you ask? If I make them laugh like that again two of them will probably die.
(at which point the class would respond, "oh, well.")
Posted by Paddy-D @
3:52 pm in
General
They were having a hard time distinguishing what levels of severity each expression conveys, especially "O Well." The example that I gave (wrote it on the board) was this:
Correct:
A-san: "I lost your pen."
B-san: "Oh, well."
Incorrect:
A-san: "I lost your baby."
B-san: "Oh, well."
How did it go you ask? If I make them laugh like that again two of them will probably die.
(at which point the class would respond, "oh, well.")
Brief recap on me:
October 7, 2006I live in Kyoto, Japan. I teach English 4 days a week at a private school. I eat bagels 3 days a week in my kitchen. I train in Kung Fu and Philipino fighting sticks 2 days a week.
Life is greatastic. I have lots of free time and I really enjoy work. Still don’t know if I want to continue on for a Masters and be and ESL teacher fo life. I’ll have been here 11 months in two hours.
Please send me an email at p underscore evans at hotmail dot com. If you can’t figure that out then send me one at ifyoucanttellthisisntarealaddresssthen@idontwanttotalktoyou.com. I check it daily.
I have an extra room if anyone wants to visit.
Posted by Paddy-D @
3:29 pm in
General
Life is greatastic. I have lots of free time and I really enjoy work. Still don’t know if I want to continue on for a Masters and be and ESL teacher fo life. I’ll have been here 11 months in two hours.
Please send me an email at p underscore evans at hotmail dot com. If you can’t figure that out then send me one at ifyoucanttellthisisntarealaddresssthen@idontwanttotalktoyou.com. I check it daily.
I have an extra room if anyone wants to visit.
Alrighty
October 7, 2006There’s a chance that I might start writing here again. Funnyness has continued throughout the absence and I lament the amount of unrecorded laughynesstimes.
Posted by Paddy-D @
11:03 am in
General
Mmm..mmm?
October 7, 2006I farted in a bakery today, I think that means I’m going to hell.
Posted by Paddy-D @
11:00 am in
General
Bathroom stall writing of the day:
November 27, 2005Wait, don’t beam me up Scottie, I’m taking a shiii-
Posted by Paddy-D @
12:27 pm in
General
Hmm
November 25, 2005So I live in, Japan, now. Which is nice.
Posted by Paddy-D @
9:56 am in
General
Oh
October 30, 2005So much funny has transpired since the last time I posted I ran out of places to put it all and I had to give it to the Good Will. This was last week though:
Customer: Do you have any of those little L-shaped mirrors that clip on to the side of your monitor so that you can see behind you for when someone comes into your cubical?
Me: No, but we do have chairs that, swivel.
He did not enjoy that but myself and everyone in line at register 3 got a tickle.
Posted by Paddy-D @
4:36 am in
General
Customer: Do you have any of those little L-shaped mirrors that clip on to the side of your monitor so that you can see behind you for when someone comes into your cubical?
Me: No, but we do have chairs that, swivel.
He did not enjoy that but myself and everyone in line at register 3 got a tickle.
I lost your number
October 30, 2005Well I should have writtin, I know I know. But life took a turn for the three hours of sleep per night; and to be frankly quite about it, my blog got overtaken on my list of priorities, as did sleep and prioritizing, though I never did know where to put that. So if the lack of eloquent prose makes a scratching sound across your monitor be patient with me as I work the rust out.
Brief recap on life. Graduated Cal Poly. Moving to Japan a week from tomorrow. Working at Staples days and Home Depot nights until that time.
Posted by Paddy-D @
4:30 am in
General
Brief recap on life. Graduated Cal Poly. Moving to Japan a week from tomorrow. Working at Staples days and Home Depot nights until that time.
Oh yeah, heh.
October 30, 2005There’s this crazy homeless guy who often comes into work to make copies of his crazyness so that he can pass it on to others. The first time he handed me one such copy I was genuinely interested and I began to read it, but I soon learned he gives new meaning to the word non-sensical, and my face kinda scrunched up as if I was doing long division of quantities of raw sewage, and he goes:
-You probably can’t understand it because you don’t read the bible!
To which I replied, "Or eat paint"
Posted by Paddy-D @
3:54 am in
General
-You probably can’t understand it because you don’t read the bible!
To which I replied, "Or eat paint"
Hace anos
June 7, 2005Do you remember the last time you had a Tiger Milk Bar? It’s been ages.
Posted by Paddy-D @
1:39 am in
General
Bless me
June 7, 2005I just sneezed really loud and the dogs next door started barking. I feel like I accomplished something for some reason.
Posted by Paddy-D @
1:03 am in
General
The world is a fascinating place
May 28, 2005Did you know that 20% of the fresh water on the planet is in one lake? I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep tonight, that is incredible. I love learning.
Posted by Paddy-D @
3:41 am in
General
Did you know?
May 24, 2005The red skittles are strawberry, not cherry. I can’t believe that the government lets the general public live with such misinformation. I smell skittle kickbacks.
Posted by Paddy-D @
7:37 pm in
General
Cross my heart, this happened today.
May 23, 2005Old lady: Just one copy.
Me: Six cents please.
Old Lady: Here you go.
Me: Do you need a bag or an envelope or anything for that?
Old Lady: An envelope would be good. It’s pretty windy out there, I need something to keep it stiff.
Me: I have that same problem.
Old Lady: ...
Me: Like, with the wind and, I mean, like. Here’s your, um, envelope.
We’re, going to the cha-pel;
and we’re, gonnnaaaaa get fire-e-er-rd...
Posted by Paddy-D @
3:05 am in
General
Me: Six cents please.
Old Lady: Here you go.
Me: Do you need a bag or an envelope or anything for that?
Old Lady: An envelope would be good. It’s pretty windy out there, I need something to keep it stiff.
Me: I have that same problem.
Old Lady: ...
Me: Like, with the wind and, I mean, like. Here’s your, um, envelope.
We’re, going to the cha-pel;
and we’re, gonnnaaaaa get fire-e-er-rd...
A letter to a friend:
May 23, 2005Hey there, how’s it going? What are you up to? Thats cool, thats cool. Hey, do you have a duck I could borrow? I know that sounds a little strange but I’m all out of chickens and we have the meeting tonight and it’s my turn to bring. This’ll be embarrassing if I don’t get my hands on some poultry. I asked brother Deacon if I could bring a cat, as I have no particular affinity for Mr. Mingles, but he said "it would not appease the proper" somethingorother so it looks like I’m SOL. Anyways, let me know if you know of any small game I could borrow and not bring back kindathing.
Oh yeah, Carol said to ask if Lee Ann still had her cassorele dish from the jamboree last Friday. She’s making some meat loaf for her dad and couldn’t find the dish. Anyways, I better go, I think I hear Mr. Mingles in the bedroom. Damm cat shits like a chicken all over the house, I have half a mind to bring him and KFC strips and see what Chantmaster says. Anyways, see you at the plant on Monday,
Cliff
ho ho ouch
May 23, 2005Bob: My uncle died of natural causes.
Cliff: Really? What happened?
Bob: A tree fell on him.
Cliff: Really? What happened?
Bob: A tree fell on him.
I made him a bagel, woe is me
May 23, 2005I prepared Red a bagel, and now I shed a tear for the cream cheese god.
Woe unto those who pull late night study sessions and make bagels for their friends.
The smooth sea of cream cheese that was in the container is gone.
Red attacked the white spread with reckless abandon, like a drunk Godzilla at a miniature golf course.
I must hide the peanut butter.
Why did you stab the cream cheese so? From where does this angst come?
I cradle the container in my hand like dying badger and sob silently.
Woe is me.
Woe, is, me.
Woe unto those who pull late night study sessions and make bagels for their friends.
The smooth sea of cream cheese that was in the container is gone.
Red attacked the white spread with reckless abandon, like a drunk Godzilla at a miniature golf course.
I must hide the peanut butter.
Why did you stab the cream cheese so? From where does this angst come?
I cradle the container in my hand like dying badger and sob silently.
Woe is me.
Woe, is, me.
Leg, breast, or thigh?
May 22, 2005Well, I mean now where am I going to eat?
Posted by Paddy-D @
10:35 pm in
General
There goes 6hrs of my day
May 22, 2005I’ve been in a linking mood recently, but I’m going to go ahead and call this the coolest site on the planet
It’s not the homepage, but you’ll get the idea
It’s not the homepage, but you’ll get the idea
Interesting
May 21, 2005It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s an advertisement for reverse-vasectomies!
Brain getting bigger
May 19, 2005I’m learning lots of new things today. Like the word apocryphal. It’s so pretty.
Did you know?
May 19, 2005The largest petrified forest in the world is in Lesbos. I did not know that.
Did you know?
May 19, 2005The Akkadians, from the city of Akkad in northern Mesopotamia date back to the 23rd century before Christ. I did not know that.
Word of the day:
May 19, 2005
Wainscoting.
Yes yes, I’m sure that many of you knew what that was but I didn’t so go pee uphill.
Yes yes, I’m sure that many of you knew what that was but I didn’t so go pee uphill.
They say you can never go home again
May 19, 2005This is why.
I’m from #2. Well technically not from that part of town but SB is where I call home.
I’m from #2. Well technically not from that part of town but SB is where I call home.
Uh huh
May 19, 2005Absolutly no idea what to do with that.
Thanks for the link though Gabe
Thanks for the link though Gabe
Conversation at the rock climbing gym:
May 1, 2005I went rock climbing the other day and there were these two guys climbing. One was an experienced climber and the other probably had someone help him with his shoelaces. They did that thing where they talked:
Some guy: Dood, you’re still on that run? You’ve been up there for like 20 minutes.
Some other guy: You missed it man, it was crazy. The rope broke and I almost died!
The first guy again: You’re rope broke? So you’re just hanging there defying gravity right now?
The wall guy: Um, yeah. You know, God protects his chosen people.
Me: So is it allright if I untie this end down here then?
At this point my friend Paul laughed and fell off the wall next to him so I shouted "sinner!"
Some guy: Dood, you’re still on that run? You’ve been up there for like 20 minutes.
Some other guy: You missed it man, it was crazy. The rope broke and I almost died!
The first guy again: You’re rope broke? So you’re just hanging there defying gravity right now?
The wall guy: Um, yeah. You know, God protects his chosen people.
Me: So is it allright if I untie this end down here then?
At this point my friend Paul laughed and fell off the wall next to him so I shouted "sinner!"
This just in:
May 1, 2005I found out today that I can enhance my maleness and increase my performance if I buy diamonds from Nigeria. As soon as I finish my degree online I’ll be all over that like sand on kitty poo.
Thought of the day:
May 1, 2005What if birds were ticklish?
Did you know that it’s not spelled tickelish? Tell your friends.
Did you know that it’s not spelled tickelish? Tell your friends.
Wow, o wow.
May 1, 2005
This is supposed to be one of the longest palindromes ever. I guess that for english majors this is like word porn or something. I especially like the last sentence: "I vomit on rats."
I’m sure that somebody put a lot of time into this, but it seems more to me something convicts write on their walls with poop.
I’m sure that somebody put a lot of time into this, but it seems more to me something convicts write on their walls with poop.
Yup
May 1, 2005Q: What do you call someone who always changes the subject?
A: I like tuna.
A: I like tuna.
You smell like feet
May 1, 2005Q: What is the difference between an elephant and a plum?
A: A plum is purple.
A: A plum is purple.
Oh, no-no, of course not
May 1, 2005That wasn’t the funny of which I spoke.
A whole new plastic carton of phyla Annelidas
May 1, 2005As an avid fisherman as a child, fisherchild, you might say, I wouldn’t, I have purchased many worms in my life, but never, do I recall them coming in a can.
New laptop
May 1, 2005A good friend of mine lent me a laptop for my last quarter of college, and I was playing around with the power settings yesterday. It has settings such as always on and minimal battery usage. I enabled it to use as many resources as possible, and now it says: American.
If you’re gonna be my baby...
April 19, 2005Sorry I haven’t posted in so long, I’ve been busy what with the testifying against Michael Jack- I mean, work. Much funny has transpired and I hope to be posting it soon.
Comedian of the day
April 19, 2005"I don’t think condoms are very reliable at all. Don’t you just hate it when they break? There’s that moment of surprise, followed by that terrible shock as two kilos of cocaine hit your stomach...." -comedian on tv.
I would set up a lawn chair and sit by the side of the road...
April 2, 2005I find this to be funny ha-ha
Posted by Paddy-D @
6:47 am in
News/Politics
Line of the day day:
March 30, 2005-Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.
Line of the day:
March 15, 2005-For when I fall, it shall be the death of kings
How you doin?
March 14, 2005An 80 year old woman come up to me at the gas station yesterday and said, "I like your pickup."
I asked her to have my baby.
I asked her to have my baby.
Thought of the day:
March 14, 2005If I was a worm, I would totally sleep in.
Al hijo...
March 3, 2005I am sorry, my son
about the world;
your mom and I,
fucked it up a little.
about the world;
your mom and I,
fucked it up a little.
Quote of the day:
March 3, 2005"Bam wham thank you maam" -Dr. Martinez, Spanish 305 teacher
I dunno, maybe he just does it differently.
I dunno, maybe he just does it differently.